“You give terrible advice.”
This season of motherhood feels like a rollercoaster sometimes, doesn’t it? One minute I’m laughing—next, I’m questioning everything.
The other day, my high schooler and I were laughing together, joking in fake accents, enjoying the kind of playful banter I treasure. In the middle of that moment, I casually brought up his first work shift—which happened to fall on his 16th birthday. I gently suggested he consider swapping shifts so he could enjoy the day off. After all, this may be one of the last birthdays he’s not obligated to work.
What started as lighthearted suddenly shifted. He stood up abruptly, declared that I give “terrible advice,” and walked away.
At the root of it, he felt unheard. I had crossed that fine line we often walk as moms of nearly-grown kids: wanting to offer wisdom without overriding their sense of agency. I knew he was trying to take responsibility, and my input, though well-intentioned, felt dismissive to him.
This is the dance, isn’t it? Knowing when to speak and when to step back. Knowing when our perspective is helpful—and when it just feels like pressure.
It takes so much restraint to stay quiet sometimes. So much effort to pause instead of push. And while it’s not always that calculated, there are moments where the mental and emotional toll surprises me—especially when I walk away feeling like I just got punched in the gut.
But then I remember the foundation we’ve built. The connection that lets him be a little sassy and know it won’t break us. The trust that gives me the freedom to circle back and say, “Hey, I realize I didn’t really hear you. I pushed too much.”
And we’re okay. Because we both know how to repair.
We’re all allowed messy moments. There’s grace for them as they grow. And it’s easier to extend that grace when we remember how freely the Lord extends it to us.
Tip for Moms of Older Kids:
When tension shows up, take a breath. Ask yourself: Does this need to be fixed right now? Calm doesn’t mean silence—it means choosing connection over control. Your steady presence speaks louder than advice ever could.
Verse to Anchor Your Heart:
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."
—James 1:19
If you’re in this season too—wrestling with when to speak and when to stay silent—you’re not alone.
✨ The Parenting Pivot is a guide created to help you navigate this messy middle with more peace and purpose.
✨ And if your heart is heavy with fear, frustration, or prayer fatigue, The Shameless Audacity of a Praying Mom is your space to lay it all down, without guilt or shame.
Let’s keep showing up, praying boldly, and parenting with grace—even on the hard days.
P.S.
The next day, he came back to let me know he’d decided to switch shifts—so he wouldn’t have to work on his birthday after all. And he apologized for being rude.
Proof that connection and repair really do make a difference. 💛