In His Shadow

This week I took my son to the chiropractor. The doctor was explaining how the body sends signals down through the back and out to everything else and how right now there’s a kink blocking those signals. That’s what’s causing my son’s discomfort. Things are out of alignment.

Of course I related it to estrangement.

Because that’s exactly what it feels like, doesn’t it? There’s pain because things are out of alignment. They aren’t the way they’re supposed to be.

For my son, the chiropractor laid out a plan — laser treatment, a TENS unit, ointments, and adjustments over a few weeks. A clear path back to alignment.

It’s not that simple with relationships when you can only control your part, and so much of this is out of our hands. So what do we actually do with the part that is ours?

We realign. Not with them but with the One our worth comes from.

“The enemy wants you to stay stuck in the shadows of shame.” I say that all the time. And this week I was reading Psalm 91: 1

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”

I’ve read this chapter plenty of times - it’s a popular one, but it meant something different this time…

I spend all this time telling you not to give the enemy the satisfaction of keeping you stuck, small, hidden in the shadows of shame… and here God is describing a shadow of His own.

When I picture the shadow of shame, I see darkness. Staying inside because being around people feels like pressure - like everyone’s quietly wondering what you did wrong. I see us behind closed doors. Tucked away. Hidden.

But then I read verse 91: 4-

“He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.”

And the whole picture changes.

Because I don’t see wings folded down over me, hiding me away. I see them spread wide - fully extended, at their whole span. I see Him standing tall, wings stretched out to their limit, daring the enemy to take a shot. And that full extension throws a shadow - a huge, wide-open shadow and that’s where I get to stand.

In broad daylight. Out in the open. I’m in His shadow, so I’m covered. I’m not shrinking into a corner. I’m standing tall too, right in the middle of it. Protected and visible. Proud. Confident. Bold. Why wouldn’t I be? Look at who’s covering me.

Two shadows. One keeps you small and hidden. The other is thrown wide open so you can stand tall right out in the light.

So when estrangement leaves you defeated, overwhelmed by all the emotions it drags in - stop and picture it. Whose shadow are you standing in right now? And then make the conscious choice to step into the Almighty’s.

And when you question who you are, now that motherhood looks nothing like you expected - you are His.

“The LORD says, ‘I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them.’” (Psalms 91: 14–15)

Standing with you between hope and heartbreak,
Nicole